


The Best Medicine (Joker x Reader)

by Whiskma



Category: DC Comics
Genre: Just maniacs, Multi, No cute Jokers here, Reader is gender neutral, Reader works at Arkham
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-04
Updated: 2016-09-04
Packaged: 2018-08-12 17:41:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7943362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whiskma/pseuds/Whiskma
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Working at Arkham Asylum hardly had perks, especially when one patient seemed to break out everytime he was there. It was a miracle that you were still alive. You'd been through countless encounters with the psychiatrist that had just up and joined that deranged phsyco, Joker. The very last encounter you two had, the bitch gave you a clonk on the head. You still have the damn scar to show for it.</p>
<p>Now the question on your mind, beside the constant questioning of your mortality, was why all the looks? As soon as you walked through the doors, everyone was giving you a certain look. Their expressions were all quite similar. Even the inmates were quiet when you walked the hall. As you entered the head of security's office, he gave you a very thick folder. You saw a small corner of a picture from inside, and starred at him.</p>
<p>"Hell no," Your boss shook his head at you, leading you outside the office. He told you how to get down into the bowels of the Asylum to find his cell. You tried to refuse. Just because you've lasted longer than most other guards didn't mean you were suddenly Batman!</p>
<p>Walking down the long corridor to the final door of your journey, you could already hear the deranged cackling.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Best Medicine (Joker x Reader)

**Author's Note:**

> Imagine Joker as you wish. Heath Ledger, Jared Leto, which ever Joker you want. I'm personally imagining Arkham Origins Joker. Hn-hn.
> 
> Now this story is a test of me, and how well I can write a sociopath. So if you were expecting a cute Joker, you can still read on, but it won't be cute. If you came here for a psychopathic Joker, you came to the right place!

You kept your distance from the lunatic all afternoon, listening to rants, melodies, laughing... the man was mad. He didn't notice you the entire time you were there, either that or he didn't care, which was perfectly fine with you. You carried around a deck of playing cards, you learned that you needed something to preoccupy you while we're stationed at a patient's cell. You always kept your eyes on them, even when they were "frustrated". That was normal, more normal than you'd care to admit.

Time for a little Solitaire. Grabbing the deck from a small belt compartment, you began shuffling. Setting down the different pillars to play with. Then you began to play.

Thrrrrpt. Thrrrrpt. Chck. Chck. Chck. Chck. Chck. Fnap... Fnap...

"And just when did you decide to stop listening?" You looked over to the cell. The light bathed it in such a way that revealed every content in it. Including the green-haired murderer.

"Just now," You looked back down at you game. Fnap... You heard a chuckle but refused to acknowledge him. You lifted a brow at your card, wondering where to put it.

"You know, that's quite rude," You could tell by his tone he wasn't particularly pleased. You smiled to yourself. Fnap. When you decided to look over after a few quick plays, you saw that he was staring you down. So you smiled at him.

"It may be rude, but at least I haven't killed anyone," Fnap. You saw a glint in his eyes, of what, you didn't know. His smile slowly returned as you played your next card.

"Not yet, anyways," He leaned against the bars, watching your confused reaction. You furrowed your brows in bewilderment. Joker did a tiny giggle and shrugged. "It's obvious to me you haven't been out under the pressure required to kill. Everyone's is different," He lifted his slender hands to his cheeks. "Mine just happened to be funny," His laugh was soft and deep.

You looked back down at your game, your concentration dwindling with every spoken word. You clenched your jaw, he could make anything sound important. Important enough for you to actually listen to his antics. So you set the card down and leaned back in your chair, crossing your arms as you stared at the blank wall in front of you. Dark spots of what can only be assumed stained every brick. You grunted and looked over at him.

"What makes you think I can break?" He rolled his head back, seeming to be basking in the light of the few bulbs that illuminated him.

"Everyone breaks, even Batman," Now it was your turn to laugh. And it was loud. You never really agreed with Batman on how he would catch people, but at least he got the job done.

"Are you honestly trying to swindle me into thinking that the one and only Batman can break? Bones, sure. But his mentality is set. There's nothing that can break him," Joker ticked his tongue several times, shaking his head.

"Not entirely what I meant. What makes you think he hasn't been broken before he became a flying rodent?" Joker tilted his head, his grin terribly wide. You processed what he said, but snickered yourself.

"He may have broke, but he isn't insane," You leaned forwards and pointed at him, "You are," Joker gripped a bar with one hand as he practically lost it. He waved you off, wiping a tear from his eye.

"We're all like glass, we break into many more pieces than one. Batsy's cracked, he isn't broken. Now you," Joker pointed at you through the cell bars. "You, are whole. I wonder what it would take... your family's deaths? Watching it happen? Making it happen HA HA HAAA!!!" You clicked open the cartridge that held your pistol, but stopped yourself just in time. Here was a man that is an expert of playing with people's minds, trying to see what will get you. You may not have had the best relations with your family, but you certainly didn't want them all dead. You set the button back over nodding to yourself.

Silence ensued. The only noise the occasional bed creak from Joker, and your cards. Your walkie-talkie buzzed in an attempt to call you. You clicked your tongue and answered.

"I'm here. What's up?" There was slight static when your boss spoke.

"It's lunchtime, how're you holding up?" You looked over to find Joker's eyes closed.

"I'm holding up nicely. Joker made a nice little threat on my family. Do you need me to come up, or are you sending someone down here?" Joker grunted as you stood up, clearly not happy with your choice of words.

"No one likes a tattle tale, especially not me. You have one strike of one," You froze as the old elevator doors opened up to you. Any snark you had left in you diminished when you turned to look at Joker. His green eyes glowing with anger and rage. You quickly pressed the up button and watched Joker's eyes follow you up.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

Walking down the corridor to Joker's cell, the air felt completely different. Demonic in a sense. Joker, himself, was sitting on his bed, hands clasped, and eyes forward looking at you. Your hands began to tremble as you made your way to the depositing drawer. Unlatching it and setting the tray down in, you could tell this new Joker was probably the version no one wanted to see.

Down in this part of the Asylum, they hadn't gotten to refurbishing any of it. And this was the only available cell in the whole hospital.

As you pushed the drawer into his cell, a flash of white pulled at your collar, and you were pulled into the bars. Your immediate reaction was to grab your gun and the cell bars. Joker cracked a small smirk at your attempt of defense.

"Now listen, I know I may seem hard to live with, but that doesn't mean I want you telling people what I say. This is either going to be extremely fun for me, or complete hell for you. Which one ya want?" You growled when Joker looked you in the eyes, they still had the same sentiment as last look.

"How about you let me go and we just don't talk to each other, period," Joker fit-giggled, pulling you closer, making your skin scratch across the rusty metal.

"Complete hell for you, it is," Joker gripped your hair, seemingly trying to pull you through the bars. One of your knees found its way through, giving you a split-second idea. Using the little momentum you had, your head connected with Joker's nose, and your foot pushed him away. For someone so thin, you wouldn't have expected much strength.

Joker stumbled backwards, laughing at the sudden action. You retreated from the cell, rubbing your head and breathing hard. Joker wiped under his nose, a little surprised at the sight of his own blood. His other hand was clenched tightly around tiny spurts of your hair. Your forehead creased in anger and you kicked the drawer containing Joker's tray, making whatever it's contents were splatter all over the floor. You buttoned back your holster, feeling your face to find large scratches. Joker gave you a smile, obviously still trying to get under your skin. You shook your head for more of your sake than his. A small alarm on your belt sounded off, signaling that it was time for your break. Joker hummed a high tune and sat on his bed, grinning at you.

“Is it time for Tatty’s break?” His laugh rang in your ears. You grabbed his file from the table you had been sitting at and walked away from him to the elevator.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

“That sonovabitch better not speak to me when I return. I’ll wring his neck if he even dares!” You paced around the head of the security's office, clenching the file in your hands like it was Joker’s neck. Your boss shook his head, seeming to empathize with you.

“Although it would relieve Gotham of its major headache, you can’t do that,” He watched you sigh and continued. “Every judge he’s ever met says that he’s insane,” You slammed Joker’s file down on the desk.

“Bullshit! He obviously knows what he’s doing, otherwise he wouldn’t keep repeating himself! He’s crafty in every single way. He’s too intelligent to be considered “Crazy”! Joker knows how to mess with minds, sir. It’s so easy for a jury to believe he’s insane because of how he acts. It’s all on purpose!” You bent your head and closed your eyes. “Even if he is insane, he sure as hell knows how to use it to his advantage… And when he breaks out of here he’s going to litter Gotham with it’s own blood ” Your boss leaned back in his chair, understanding of your words.

“I know. But you’re the only qualified person here for the job. I’m sorry,” He shook his head. “There isn’t anything we can do except for watch him. I’ll get some of the newbies down there to help if he’s too much,” You nodded, adjusting to your normal height. Your eyes seemed distant.

“That won’t be necessary. I’ll be heading back to my post,” You smirked at nobody. “It’s not like I haven’t ever saw this coming,” You walked out of the office, closing it behind you. The elevator ride was nice and quiet, save for the random creaks and squeaks.

Joker didn’t seem to notice you walk up to his containment. You looked at him, seeing his eyes closed.

“When it’s time for your people to break you out, you’re gonna kill me aren’t you?” A loud “Hn” left his throat. You looked over at the mess you’d made in a moment of rage. “I was told before I came here that your appointment is at five o'clock this afternoon. They’ll wheel you out and back in,” Your eyes hardened as you looked at Joker, who had turned his head towards you. “I don’t want you to cause anymore trouble today, got it?” You had taken on the role of the “Strict Security Guard”, there wasn’t much of a purpose for it. Just the fact that is made you sound slightly more intimidating.

Joker just shrugged, his laugh lines creasing. You shook your head and sat at the table, your game had been untouched. Lucky for you… Fnap… Fnap…

“Oh please don’t tell me you’re playing **_that_** again,” Your half-life eyes stayed on your game. Fnap… Joker waltzed himself near you, looking down at the card in your hand and down at the game. “You can’t do much with that seven. Put it on the eight and get a new card,” You tilted your head up at him, he looked bored, and you were annoyed.

“Will you leave me be? There’s not much to do around here besides waiting for death,” You looked down at your game and begrudgingly placed the seven under the eight and drew a new card. Joker frowned.

“Who ever said I would kill you? You’re too much fun to just throw away,” Joker chuckled and began walking around in the small space. Fnap.

“It’s not my job to entertain you. I’m just here to see to it you don’t try to escape. But we both know you’ll just do it anyways. You always have,” You grumbled every word. Joker dipped himself as he laughed.

“My reputation precedes me! Ha-ha!” Joker spun himself around, getting lost in whatever the hell reality he just put himself in. You shook your head, returning to your game.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

Joker had returned from his appointment and didn’t even speak to you. He just fell into his bed and rolled over. Even maniacs have to sleep sometime. You were slightly surprised he didn’t snore. He just mumbled to himself. Why that part wasn’t surprising, you didn’t know.

Sudden static and orders from your walkie-talkie made you jump. You looked over to Joker, nothing.

“Your shift is over. Come on up. We have someone available for the night shift,” You sighed in relief and clicked the side-button.

“Got it,” You spoke softly to not disturb the clown. You stood up and gathered up your cards, storing them in a small pouch on your belt. Looking over to Joker’s back, you softly spoke. “Sweet nightmares,” You turned around and got into the elevator, leaving the large room for the night. One thing about Arkham you absolutely hated, was that it was impossible to tell time without a watch. At least you had a way to pass the time.

Walking down the long hall to the entrance, you saw the head of security trudging along ahead. He held a crumpled file folder in the crook of his arm. You quickened your pace to come right up beside him. He held the folder out to you as you both exited the Asylum gates. You accepted it, you wanted to learn more about Joker, at least what you could. The head of security waved to you as your separated in the parking lot, you reciprocated.

Closing your car door, you turned the key and drove on the long dirt road that led to the Asylum. You took a few turns into the city, and found your apartment building. Passing the front desk, your landlady, an elderly woman, shuffled after you. She hardly talked to you, but when she did it was usually time to pay rent. She wasn’t from America, so her speech was slow. But she eventually finished her statement. You kindly told her that you would have the money tomorrow. She nodded and waddled away. You always paid your rent, so she had no reason to doubt you.

You pushed the key in the lock and turned it, meeting darkness and cool air. A small meow from the dark startled you. The landlady had a cat that always wandered around the building. It usually followed the landlady in when she went to deliver something, but you didn’t see a package. Maybe she got the rooms mixed up again.

It’s not that you didn’t like the cat, but you just didn’t like finding it's little “presents” when you came home. The large cat darted through your legs out the door. You shook your head, proceeding to close and lock your apartment. Pulling on a small cord below the main light in the whole apartment, you placed Joker’s file down on the dining room table. You flipped it open, peering at some of the contents. Countless murder charges, quite a few robberies…

“Joker Gas..? Once in the system the victim's face will contort into a painful smile as they laugh to the point that they can’t breathe…” You looked through several pictures of the victims, and it made you sick to your stomach. Some victims were in a pool of their own vomit from all the laughter.

You closed the file, you’d seen enough. Insane or not, Joker is smart, and he loves mind games. He’s already played with yours. And he did it quite well. He was a nihilist. He doesn’t really care if his actions are good or bad, he does them because they're fun to do to him.

You rubbed your temples and looked at the time. A little Midnight television never hurt anyone. You grabbed a small remote and turned on the TV. The headline made your heart catch.

_**ARKHAM ASYLUM’S MOST DANGEROUS BACK ON THE STREETS** _

You turned the volume up to hear the news reporter.

“Arkham Asylum, a mental hospital only miles away from Gotham, has just been infiltrated. Reports say that there were several explosions at the front entrance of the hospital. We haven’t heard much else from Arkham, but if we find out anything else, you’ll be the first to know,”

You were stunned. A large list of different names ran across the screen, each one associated with a picture. The name you expected to show never crossed the screen, and that was troubling somehow. Who on earth would want to break out anyone besides the Joker? Anyone else wasn't near his level of crazy. You sat down at the circular table, intently scanning the screen. A shadow from the corner of your eyes made your breath catch and your hand dart to your side.

“The only time you’ve ever been this focused was when you couldn’t find a place for the seven,” A thin, gloved, hand held your belt, and a large smile greeted you in the darkness. His eyes looked you up and down, but you couldn’t discern what exactly his intent was. Joker set the belt down on your kitchen counter, plucking the pistol from it’s holster twirling it on his index finger. “But that’s not why I’m here,” In a flash of movement, he had you pinned against the wall behind you. Your own gun under your chin, his eyes baring down into yours, your hands gripping his collar, and his body pressed against yours. He chuckled and narrowed his eyelids, like he was making up his mind about something. You couldn’t get away, he was just too strong. Your eyebrows arched downwards in defeat, and when you spoke, it was close to a plea.

“Then why are you here?” Joker hummed, turning your head with the gun barrel to each side.

“You interest me. Despite my words, you stuck around. You knew when and how to retaliate,” His voice deepened “You even knew exactly what I did and did not want to hear,” Joker looked away like he was seriously contemplating something. Then, lowered his head, connecting his blood red lips to yours.

You couldn’t move away, your grip on his coat tightened as you tried to maneuver him off of you. Joker remained still, and when he left your lips he had a very satisfied look on his white face. His voice was in his throat and low, sending a chill down your spine.

“Oh yes. You interest me very much,” You widened your eyes, trying to think up of anything you possibly could.

“What about the psychiatrist?” Joker rolled his head back and let out a scream of laughter. He quickly reeled himself closer to your face, his voice returning to a growl.

“Harley knows her place. Now it’s time for you to learn yours.”


End file.
